I grew up in a snobby, well to do, well connected family, connected to organized crime, government, etc... And though I didn't like the way I grew up, always guarded and restricted from alot of things. Though I didn't like some of my dads family values like "women should be seen and not heard" (That one went over real well, the women on my dads side of the family never heeded that advice) the arranged marriage thing, was a bit too much, and didn't go over well at all with me. I did learn allot from my dad though, things that were invaluable to me. He always said "walk in like you own the place, always show confidence even if you aren't feeling it at the time. Never let them see you sweat. And handle everything with style and grace, and a bit of humor." So I watched my dad, how people reacted when he entered a room, how he handled tough situations in public, how he treated people in public and what made everyone love this man who had a very darkside that his "men" and few family members knew about. I took those things that he did and I instilled them in my daily life. Those things have gotten me through the best times and the worst, and have even saved my life.
I taught those values to my kids and even though they have gone through the rebellious times and are prone to fighting here and there. I think we all go through that. I have found that when it really counts they have learned well. How we react to sitations has everything to do with how people react to us. People think I breeze through tough situations seamlessly and with out difficulty, I am known for that. Inside it is seamless, but at least it appears to be on the outside.
On the way to court yesterday Shannon was really nervous and we went over the rules, she repeated them to me with out my coaxing. "walk in like you own the place, stay calm, centered, and focus, breathe... and handle everything with grace and style." I watched her handle everything in front of the judge with Tyler right there in the same room, where she had to be the adult and mom could do nothing but quietly pray and send out good vibes. I was so proud of her, she was amazing. Everything she had been taught had become a part of her. I smiled to myself, Shannon would be allright.
In fact all of my kids have learned well. Nancy and Erin have a ways to go, they have to realize that they don't have to engage in battle when ever one of their friends gets in a fight, or when some one is "talking shit" I always tell them to choose their battles wisely. I think with Nancy and Erin, it is a way of proving themselves. The women in this family are short, small, and my girls are very beautiful, and people think they can take advantage of this. Kids these days are so ready to fight at the slightest provocation. It wasn't like that when I was growing up. It's a different world now. Being 18 and 19 though does keep them out of some trouble though because they are no longer minors and have to be held accountable as an adult. There are no more phone calls from the cops and no more mom talking them out of bringing them to jail. I was good at that. The only reason I did that though is because I know what goes on in sheriff Joes jails. There is a funny little secret ti getting the cops to release you child, very sternly as them to put your child on the phone, it'll be on a cell phone so you know the cop will be able to hear you. So when your child gets on the phone you began to yell at them telling them that when you are through with them they will never see the light of day until they are 30, then you pull the "how could you do this to your mother act" at that point the cops think that bringing the child home to you is worse punishment than jail and they bring them home to you. Trust me I know it works, you have know idea how many times in the past 3 years I had those phone calls from the cops. Some people think that the young monster might benefit from a night in jail, but you have to understand that 1 night in that jail could be your kids last. Of course once the cop brings the kid home you must handle tha with grace and style. The meltdown on the phone is basically theatrics, even though you may be really pissed at the kid for getting in trouble.
I was just sitting here spending a little quality time with Catarina she gets pissed when I am writing and not paying attention to herm and I was looking through this Avon book someone left at our door, and there is a kimono robe I have to have. It is red and black with a rose embroidered on it. It's cool. I also found a pair of shoes I like. Hmmm. I am going to check my bank acct. I love red and black, and roses have special symbolism for me.
Looks like our guest list for thanksgiving is getting bigger, even Sparky asked if he could eat here instead of going to relatives houses, he feels more comfortable here. That was a shocker. There will be some new faces, and no doubt they will be a bit nervous at first, people always feel wierd eating somewhere where they don't know everyone, especially on holidays. But at my house we choose not to be all formal, come dressed in what ever you want, And we all make sure that everyone feels welcome. I make sure no one is left out of conversation, and everyone has plenty to eat and drink. It will probably rain on Thanksgiving but that's cool, I like rainy holidays. But if its the girls will probably be out dancing in the rain, or there will be a water ballooon fight, never fails. When it is storming out or just raining my girls are always out running around in it. Between that and us sitting on the roof at all hours of the day and night, some neighbors think we are more like the Addams family. Some of the neighbors look at us like we are evil and shit, but we are far from it, and at least we are enjoying life and having fun.
Well, the girls are going to be getting up soon. I have to get another cup of coffee gotta be ready to go and to have fun. I'm not the kind of Grandma that sits on the couch.
It was kind of funny at work. We had a team meeting to welcome the new people to our team. So were going around the table introducing ourselves, telling how long we'd been with the company, how many kids we have, a hobby, and something about us that others might not know. When I mentioned my kids, grand kids, and their age range the new lady turned to me and looked surprised and said "Oh my God, how old were you when you had them? Thenshe apologized for her shock and said she was surprised becuase I look so young. lol! After everything the kids and I have been through together I should have white hair and tons of wrinkles. It was pretty funny.
Hugs,
Maria
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