Time of Renewal

I am taking time to look inside of myself to regroup and to come back to where I need to be spiritually. A friend of mine told me that I am like a sponge soaking up all of the feelings of everyone around me. I feel the emotions of everyone around whether I know them or not. How true. I speak to at least 75 to 100 people on the phone everyday at work all of them calling in with problems on their credit cards. Alot of them losing their businesses and all they have because of the economy and I feel their pain. I try not to let it affect me. My home is a sanctuary for lots of kids, friends of my daughters as well as adult friends of mine who all love the peace and warmth of the atmosphere there. They come with problems to discuss, great times to share, but still I feel everything they feel. I feel everything my kids and friends in other states and countries feel. All of that is all well and good except for the fact that i used to handle it much better, Somewhere along the way, recently when the economy started to dive and alot of chaos around began to occur I lost track of some very basic practices and rules that I lived by. Because of all the demands on me and all the stress I began to become irritated and began to become negative and angry. I didn't take the time to regroup, to keep myself anchored. One of my main rules is to do and say everything out of love, never in hate or anger. No matter how difficult the situation I would give myself a minute to anchor myself and only react with love. A special friend mentioned to me that I had some demons to face and he was right. I stepped back and washed away all the negativity anchored myself and now I feel so much better. I still have some work to do to bring myself to where I want to be. i have a very special undertaking in the future with a very special talented friend and I have to be ready. A wise man told me along time ago that if you act in love all of the time you will always live in accordance woth the Universal laws. He is right. I have to make sure I never ever lose track again. I must be sure that I uphold my standards to live and act with love at all times and to walk with the utmost honesty and integrity at all times. That is the only way,

I also have to not allow my feelings to be so easily hurt. A very special, talented friend was in the middle of a project when I instant messaged him just to say good night. He was signed on so I didn't know I was interrupting him. He got pretty upset with me and told me I had broken his concentration. His words hurt because i would never want to do that. But as a writer myself I truly understand how easily train of thought can be broken. If I'd have known that I wouldn't have even said good night. Oh well, I got over it, but I hope he understands that I would never intentionally do anything like that on purpose. So I am afraid to even Instant message him at all. I have my own little healing journey I am on and so I know he will contact me when the time is right for us to begin our undertaking. His project is so very important and I don't want to interfere in any way. Hurt words or not he is so very close to my heart. He is a friend I haven't known for long on this plane but our spirits have known each other since time began. That is why we were drawn together here and now.

All in all I am renewed and will soon be ready for what ever comes my way.