Don'tlet yourself be a victim

Ok, so today was absolutely insane at work. I could not wait till the day was over. Before I even got on the phone I could hear someone screaming on the phone at one of my team mates, we have head sets on so you know it had to be loud. My team mate was handling it well but you could tell he was getting frustrated so I got on IM and sent him funny pics and emoticons those always help allot. We all spent all day sending them back and forth. I would say 85% of my calls were people screaming and venting so I'd let them vent, then do what I could to help, but most of them had to go to the credit dept. There was nothing I could to really help. Between the economy and the holidays people are really stressed. Most of them I can calm down by empathizing with them but I have no control over what happens once they get to credit, because the people in credit annoy the hell out of too. There are a few really good reps over there but for the most part you really have to wonder if they got the same training we did, because they are even rude to us, not just the customers. I am lucky enough to have the bus ride home to unwind, I am off for Christmas Eve and Christmas.

Chloe and Hannah went with Sparky over to Tyler's to spend the night. He is sending them home tomorrow. But Nancy told me that he was yelling at Chloe today because neither Tyler or Shannon pay him to babysit. He and I will have to have a little conversation because Chloe is only 3 and it isn't her problem or her fault. Shannon can't afford to pay him because she has to pay for diapers, food, everything for the girls because Tyler won't help at all, and Tyler makes as much as I do at the same company I work for so he can afford to help. Sparky needs to talk to Tyler about helping out it is his son. He just had no right to yell at my granddaughter like that.

Is all this negativity really necessary? Is it really necessary to yell and scream at people? All I've heard today is poor me this and poor me that. Ok, yes these people are victims of the economy, we all are, and if we aren't affected by it yet it will probably will affect us soon enough. But even though these hard times are tearing peoples lives apart I think it is important not to remain a victim. We have to realize how important it is to try to deal with everything directly without seeing ourselves as victims. Bad things happen to all of us. But those are the times where we grow stronger. So if times are tough deal with it, cut back, remember that while material things are nice they aren't always necessary.

I am a single Mom, I've been a single mom for a long time, so I know what I am talking about. It would have been so easy for me to play the victim, poor me, and try to find a man to take care of me and my kids. But why? What the hell for? I chose to come across as a strong, woman who could handle things on her own, it was hard but I did it. I had to do it. I had no shortage of men who would have loved to take care of me and my kids but that control wasn't what I wanted. I had to push myself hard to do things I normally wouldn't have done. I took a job at Procter and Gamble in the Bounty towel plant in Albany Ga. It was right after me and my 4th and last husband split up. Before that I was a manager of the department store (Marine Corp Exchange on base.) I loved that job but it didn't pay enough to raise my kids on my own. But Procter and Gamble was hiring I went through a very difficult interviewing process but I got the job. The first time I went out to the floor and saw the machinery on the production lines, I just swallowed really hard and thought "what have I got myself into" The machinery was huge two and 3 stories high.We spent 6months in class learning every aspect of the machinery and the process of making Bounty paper towels. We had to give presentations in front of engineers and they asked really hard questions. We all dreaded the presentations, especially us women. It was a mans world in there the machinery was dangerous and there was no room for error or for people who didn't want to get dirty or couldn't lift this or that. I was only 5 feet tall, I was pretty and I had it tough. I had to prove to these men that I could do the job. The lines were made for men tall men not little short women. No matter how much I dreaded the presentations I got up there and did my best and I got the reputation of being a good speaker, I got the reputation of knowing what I was talking about because I didn't use notes when I got up to speak. We had drawings of drive trains etc. But i didn't use notes. When we went out to the lines to work, allot of new people had a hard time because they thought just because they spent 6 months in class they knew it all. I went out there and told them, to teach me the ropes. They did, especially when they saw I could reach things by standing on my toes, they took the effort to make steps and stuff to make it easier for me to reach things, I'd proven to them I could do it without though. When the line went down and machinery broke we fixed it. So I would step in and say "let me do it" if anyone acted like they were in too much of a hurry, I'd tell them I'd prefer o be shown now so that in the future I can just jump in and get busy. They respected that. Within a year I was in charge of the decorator, the 2 story machine that puts the color on the paper towels, a very difficult and very messy job. The point is when times get tough you have to challenge yourself, you have to push the limits whether you want to or not, it can be really painful but it must be done. There were times when I hurt myself, like I hit the front of my leg running up a flight of stairs, not regular stairs but it hurt so bad I almost fell, but I had to keep going up the stairs and I wasn't about to let them know I hurt my leg. So I had to grit my teeth and shake it off. I had a blood red egg shaped bruise that hurt so bad when I got home I could hardly walk but hey, I lived. There were several things like that. But you become so much. Having Uterine cancer was another challenge, but I got through it.

So when someone thinks I couldn't possibly understand hardship, think again! My kids, and grand kids will survive this mess we are all in. And when I hear people giving up hope on the phone, when a grown man is screaming in the phone because he is losing everything and then on top of it ll his credit limits get cut thru no fault of his own, when he is trying like hell not to let his voice crack and not to cry, all I can do is let him vent and then try to find a way to put in a message of hope. It's really hard, but sometimes just having someone listen without getting nasty with them really helps. Sometimes we just have to take the time to listen and not speak too much. No matter how bad things seem there is always hope. It's hard to keep love in your heart and to keep hope alive but it has to be done, and we have to instill that hope in those that feel there is no hope. A friend of mine said once that I seemed to have so much violence happening around me. He was right and sometimes we attract what comes to us because we are violent or hateful. And sometimes people are attracted to us because somehow they know we can help, and sometimes they are the ones who the trouble follows when they come to you for help, but it you can find a way to diffuse the violence and teach others how to attract positive energy then allot has been accomplished. I end up being the diffuser and it is hard, but maybe that is my lot in life, giving others hope, and getting rid of the bad energy. That same friend told me too that he was starting to get bad vibes from me and that was my cue to step back and make sure I am not letting all the ugliness I am trying to turn into goodness get to me. I was letting it get to me and I was able to regroup and center and get back to where I should be spiritually. It happens to all of us. He is a good friend, I don't speak to him as much as I'd like to but I always send out positive thoughts and prayers his way. he has allot going in right now. But he is and awesome man and so very talented. I can't say enough about him.

Ok so now it is late, and I have to get my butt in bed. Tomorrow is Christmas Eve and I have cooking and prepping to do for Christmas Eve and Christmas dinner. I also see the tree moving which means Catarina is in the tree again, yep, she's at the very top, and stuck.
Have a Merry Christmas and don't let the holidays stress you out. Take time to breathe, to love and to laugh and hold you loved ones close. And if things don't always go as planned that's ok, improvise, go with the moment and be flexible. In my family things never go as planned but then that's the beauty of it all.
Hugs,
Maria